Light Orbs and Childbirth

About ten years ago, I was at the hospital awaiting the birth of my brother's twin babies. After a great deal of labor, the doctors decided it was just about time to start pushing. Just before they rolled her into another room, I saw two balls of light come down through the ceiling and enter her belly. The light orbs had no real color but where a sort of pale white. I didn't speak of this to anyone and I wasn't sure that it wasn't my imagination.

2 years ago, when my wife was in labor giving birth to my son, the same thing happened. Just before the doctors told her to start pushing, a light orb swooshed down through the wall and entered my wife. Once again, I didn't tell anyone what I saw. I was too caught up in my son's birth to even think much about it at the time.

I think that this may be the soul entering the baby at the time of birth. Part of me doesn't like what this implies. I'd like to believe that the fetus reactions to noises, etc. is due to consciousness and that life starts earlier. If life really starts at birth then it has major implications. Does anyone know of anybody else who has experienced these light orbs during child-birth?

Sleep Apnea and REM Sleep

After a couple of months on the C-PAP machine, my dreams have returned!!! Yes! I've missed this part of my life. I hadn't initially realized that I wasn't having much REM sleep due to sleep apnea. I had just thought that I was loosing touch with my subconscious mind. I'm oh so happy to have this part of my life back.

Diary: Sleep Apnea

I had a sleep study done recently. I just got my results back. I quit breathing (>10 seconds) 82 times per hour. As a result, I rarely dipped into REM sleep. This helps explain why my dream recall has been so bad the last 10 years. I had thought it was that I quit keeping a dream journal on a regular basis. But it turns out there wasn't much to write down! The doctor said that she is baffled at how I could have been functioning at all during this time... Now I'm on a CPAP machine that forces air into my lungs... I wonder how this will affect my waking & dreaming lives.

What's Wrong with Kentucky?

This weekend, my family and I went to "Court Days" in Mount Sterling, Kentucky. This is a huge event with hundreds of vendors. 10% of the vendors sell shammy towels. 25% sell crap from China. 20% sell crap from Africa. About 25% sell guns and knives. The rest sell crappy carnival foods. When you get into the area with the gun sales, about half the people are carrying fire arms. I swear that I think most have brought their guns from home and use court days as an excuse to walk around armed. Of the gun vendors, I saw many who were blaring gospel music. There's something really odd about mixing guns and religion. But then again, I guess it's not so odd considering the role that religion has played in wars throughout history. Anyways... I saw the lady, pictured below, and felt a need to snap a few pictures. I couldn't get any good ones as I was afraid to be too obvious. This site, I don't think is that odd for rural Kentucky. This is a fat lady who's medicare apparently paid for a scooter. Notice what she is carrying... Yep, she's armed and dangerous.

Don't Cry Over Spilt Milk

I just love Happy Tree Friends!

Dream - The Book of Infinite Wisdom

I was in a library, looking for a book called "The Book of Infinite Wisdom". I looked up the index
and went to the shelf. It was hidden on the shelf, stashed behind a glass pain that was holding up lots of papers and a sculpture bust. The book was about 2 feet tall and 1.5 feet wide and 6 inches thick. Many of the pages were printed in mirror image, backwards. There were numerous wonderful plate etchings with tissue paper draping over, protecting the print. I couldn't figure out if it was an evil book or not. In some ways it looked like an encyclopedia of arcane knowledge but it also seemed to have a story flow to it. I checked out the book and brought it home to read. ON the way home, I witnessed a fractal where a couple of people walking near by were duplicated in tiny images that floated about looking like the fluffy puffs from blowing on a dandelion weed. Once in doors, I opened the book up and sat it on a coffee table. I began to read. My mother was there. As I turned each page, many broke loose from their binding. The book was probably hundreds of years old and very fragile. I wondered if I could return it to the library in this condition or what the fine would be if I were to keep it, claiming it to be lost. A roaring began. My mother yelled for us all to run to the basement. We went outside (now at my grandfather's house) to go around to the side door leading into the basement. I could see a tornado near-by. I started the think that it was a dream. I wondered what the storm represented. Tornadoes are usually representing change. But what change might take place at my grandfather's house????

Doodling

During a boring training session at a hotel, they passed out colored pencils for a "team building" exercise... I hung onto the pencils and proceeded to doodle on the hotel pad of paper...

Unnecessary Censorship

Existence 101

Quite often, within a dream, we are confronted by various characters all of whom seem to think for themselves. In actuality, the individuals within our dreams are primarily manifestations of aspects of one's own self. But, in the dream realm these people seem to be autonomous creatures with their own thoughts and concerns. From a psychological perspective it may be said that we all develop multiple personalities while dreaming. The primary character is whomever our waking consciousness chooses to identify with. This same principle can be applied to our waking world. However, in consensus reality, the real dreamer is not usually identifying you as part of his own persona. In other words, you are simply an aspect of the mind of our Creator, one of many characters in the play. During peak experiences, we are sometimes able to identify with our Dreamer. In rare moments of lucidity, our Dreamer may also identify with us. The unique quality of enlightened beings such as Jason, Jesus, and Buddha is that they are individuals with whom the Creator identifies. They are those who dream us. While in lucid, enlightened states, these individuals are aware that our world is in fact a dream and this awareness allows he or she to perform miracles. Anyone with enough faith can also achieve this powerful state of being.

The Parable of the Marijuana Seed

I am writing a book called The G∞d B∞k. The following is an excerpt: (a work in progress, copyright).

...Jason sat on the table, putting his feet on the chair. He turned to the young pot-heads and told another parable: “Theology is like a marijuana seed.” This got their attention. “The marijuana seed contains no THC. For those of you who don’t know, THC is the chemical in pot that gets you high. One day, a young man took a marijuana seed and planted it in a wooded area. With a little nurturing, it grew into a big beautiful cannabis plant. The plant provided enough free bud to turn on him and all of his friends. Like the seed’s latent THC, each of you contains a divine spark. Nurture this spark into a flame and light up all that you come into contact with."

Dream - Child Subject Matter Expert

I was working.... everything was dark. I was visiting a bar. This was the current site to focus on incorporating into our SAP system implementation. Why a bar and not a factory? The only person at this site who seemed to have any clue of how things worked was a child, about 9 or 10 years old. He is the one that I had identified as my subject matter expert rather than those who were at high levels and respected. Now, I was there, on site, seeing his tiny little immature face and wondering if I'd screwed up and not picked the best man to represent this location, a beer hall. My boss was coming into town to participate in the project workshop. I worried that he'd look down upon me for picking a child to represent the business. But, then what were the choices? Everyone else was brainless and clueless. The top bar manager called me into his office. There was a phone call for me. I picked up the phone, still standing at the manager's desk. The person on the other end was the child prodigy's father. He was wanting to speak with me before letting his son do business with me. He was questioning why I'd chosen this child on such an important project. All I could do was try to explain to him how smart his son was. But the father was a little uneasy about the stress it'd put on his son, who should be outside playing not working long hours at a bar. After a discussion, we said "goodbye" and hung up the phones. I still didn't have a clear idea of whether or not I'd be allowed to tap his son's knowledge about how the bar operated. I walked outside, through the bar's back door.

Interpretation: This dream reflects my current working environment. I'm identifying subject matter experts to assist me at various manufacturing locations. Often while traveling, we frequent bars. So, it makes sense to mix the two. Some of the subject matter experts are clerical workers rather than middle management. They might not be the ones allowed to make decisions, but they are indeed the ones who know how things really work behind the scenes. So, in a way, they are seen as naive yet in reality they are prodigies. The child's father then would be like these experts' bosses who are sometimes reluctant to let them dedicate time to a high profile and very important project. I suppose worry about my own boss was simply questioning if I'd made the right decisions and how my boss would feel about the people I chose. I find it interesting that I exited through the back door rather than the main entrance. What was I doing out there? Was this an escape? Or simply finding an easy out?

Dream - Taking the Family to Tijuana

Dreamt I'd taken my family along on a business trip to Tijuana, Mexico.

Details are vague. Likely due to my upcoming business trip to Mexico. That plus having just returned from a business trip to France on which I did take family.

Dream - Foursome

In this dream... my wife and I were in our bed along with two Indian men (from India, not Native American). She began giving one of them a blow job. I wasn't upset but rather excited, knowing that if I were patient then I would get one too.

Dream - Baseball sized hail

I was driving down a forest mountain road in the rain. Upon crossing a stream, I came upon my wife's parent's house. It was not raining at their house yet. Joe, my wife's father was showing me a wooden VW van that he'd recently acquired. I commented that it'd make a great dog house. Next, I entered the house, where I found my brother Don, sitting on the couch. We talked for a little while. Then, I noticed that the storm was here. I went out on the porch to watch. And, I saw that it had begun to hail. The stones were quite large, some the size of baseballs. Joe and I feared that our cars would be damaged. I told him that it wasn't all that bad because the insurance company would likely just total our cars, and have us by it back with a salvage title for a fraction of the payment. Then, my mother-in-law ran past me out into the rain. She wanted to keep one of the giant hail stones. I tried to tell her that it was too dangerous to be out there but she wouldn't listen. As I yelled at her to come back, I saw my sister-in-law (15 years old) out there with a grocery bag, filling it up with stones. I tried my best to get the two of them out of dangers way but they simply wouldn't listen.

Catacombs of Paris

Here I am in the catacombs of Paris, standing amongst the neatly stacked bones of over 3 million people.

Buddhist Monkey - Enter The Garden

;-)

Dreams - Underground Party & Yertle Dies & Python

These dreams all took place during the same night.

----

I'm uncertain as to what country this dream took place in. I was at a huge rave-like party. Sitting on the edge of the stage was a box full of various pills and quarter blotter sheets (25 hits each). As I rummaged through the box, I picked up 4 or 5 quarter sheets with various signature pictures. I wasn't wanting to do the acid in this setting but thought nobody would notice if I pocketed some for later. Just then, a woman ran into the party and exclaimed that the cops were on their way and that everyone should get the hell out. Acid in hand, I headed out the door and down the street.

Soon, I was at an airport. Apparently, I had to either fly home or back to whatever country I was working in at the time. I recall setting in the airport contemplating whether the doses were worth smuggling. I knew that there was no scent or way to detect them but also knew the consequences if I were caught.

FYI - I've not done acid in about a decade.... I think it comes up often in dreams because the dream state is so similar to the acid state.
----

Yertle is our pet turtle. In consensus reality, she has only one head. In the dream, she had two heads. In consensus reality, she lives in a terrarium. In the dream, she lived on top of a table. Yertle appeared very agitated. She kept diving off of the table, onto the floor. I repeatedly picked her up and told her that she was going to hurt herself if she didn't stay on the table. I set her on the table again. This time she walked over to the other side of the table, next to a large red and yellow snake/lizard. The snake pounced on Yertle, swallowing her whole. Now, I understood why Yertle had been acting so crazy. Brandi, my wife, grabbed the snake and poked a pencil up it's butt, trying to push Yertle back out of it's mouth. She succeeded and freed Yertle. But, it was too late. Yertle was dead!

----

(vague) There was a cut in the hill, a 15 foot tall muddy cliff. Along the side of it was a giant python-like snake....

Albert Hofmann Dies at Age 102

Albert Hofmann, considered to be the "Father of LSD", died on Tuesday April 20th, 2008 at his home in Burg im Leimental. Funeral arrangements have not been announced.

Hofmann who discovered LSD hoped that it would make an important contribution to psychiatric research. The drug exaggerated inner problems and conflicts and thus it was hoped that it might be used to recognize and treat mental illnesses like schizophrenia. Regardless, the U.S. government banned LSD in 1966 and other countries followed suit. Hofmann maintained this was unfair, arguing that the drug was not addictive. He repeatedly argued for the ban to be lifted to allow LSD to be used in medical research.

The focus of scientific LSD research has been primarily in relation to behavior modification. Some researchers have indicated that LSD assists with the imprint of new neuropathways, a state called imprint-vulnerability. This "vulnerability" is said to have been exploited by various governments in brain washing experiments. If research were directed in a more positive way, LSD might have proven useful not only in treatment of psychological problems but also for rehabilitation due to brain injury or strokes. But alas, until research is legalized, the world will never know the full potential of Hofmann's discovery.

Joke: Zen Dog

Question: What did the Zen Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

Answer: Make me one with everything.

Dream - Author of Book About a Temple

I was in an outdoor market. On a table was a book that looked very interesting. I picked it up and was shocked to see the author's name on the cover. Excited, I exclaimed, "I know Jules C___! I didn't know she wrote a book." (Jules is a co-worker who lives in a different State). I hadn't seen her standing near-by. She turned to me and asked, "Did somebody say my name?". The book was about a temple in Eastern Europe that was dedicated to many different religions. The book was fairly short and came with hand-made soap and little doll-size replicas of ethnic clothing.

The Acacia Tree

The acacia tree was called the "tree of life" by ancient Egyptians. It's quite possible that this is the same "tree of life" that was in the garden of Eden. The Hebrew word for it was shittah. It's a thorny tree the wood of which was used to make the ark of the covenant which holds the ten commandments. The wild acacia (Mimosa Nilotica), under the name of sunt, is believed by many to be the type of plant which Moses witnessed as the "burning bush" atop Mt. Sinai. This is also the most likely plant to have been used to create the "Crown of thorns" that Jesus wore during his Crucifixion. Acacia contains the powerful hallucinogenic DMT.

Today, many news organizations are writing about a recent article published in the Journal "Time and Mind". In this article, Benny Shanon, professor of cognitive psychology at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, has concluded that psychedelics extracted from the Acacia tree may have been used by Moses and his followers. He believes that this helps explain the burning bush on top of Mount Sinai. One such article can be found here:

http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/960407.html.

Calling upon the four directions

Long ago, I used to attend moon lodges. Here is a little song that we'd chant or sing to begin circle...

Ho
To the East
Land of our dawn and birth
Bringer of the air
Bringer of the eagle of spring

Ho
To the South
Land of our youth and sun
Bringer of the fire
Bringer of the lion of summer

Ho
To the West
Land of the peoples twilight
Bringer of the water
Bringer of the dreaming bear of fall

Ho
To the North
Land of Grandmother midnight
Bringer of the earth
Bringer of the winter buffalo

Ho
Great Sprit
Earth, Air, Fire, and Sea
You are all around us
And you're inside of me.

Alan Watts: Music and Life

I've always been a big fan of Alan Watts. His book titled "The Book; On the Taboo Against Knowing Who you Are" is one of my favorite reality models.

Religious Art & Spring Break

During spring break back in 1992 a friend and I were at a party near Georgia Tech in Atlanta. Someone at the party said we should drive to Daytona. I thought it sounded like a great idea so the three of us left right then and started our 9 hour drive. Once in Daytona, we didn't even think about what hotel we were going to stay at. Instead, we just went to the beach and started partying. That evening, some fellow partiers asked what hotel we were staying at. I said that we had just gotten in town and didn't know where we were going to stay. He then offered us the sleeper sofa in their time-share on the beach. So, two of us slept on the fold-out bed and one of us on the floor. If we had planned the vacation, it'd have not been as cheap nor as fun. The next evening, blotter acid was being passed around. After a rather interesting trip, we began the drive home.

We decided to stop in St. Augustine to eat and possibly rest. We were still feeling a bit trippy. Saint Augustine was a really cool town and for some particular reason many people were in period costumes wondering the streets. We found ourselves in a beautiful garden within the walls of an old Spanish building that is now a college. Then, we wondered into a small old church that I think might have once been some sort of Spanish missionary. On one wall was a beautiful mural. The image was etched into my brain. When I got home, I drew it in my sketchbook but of course I took creative liberties when drawing it... the result is the picture above.

In the picture note the following:

1. Coyote Howling at the Moon
2. Naked Pagans Gathered under the Full Moon
3. Ghandi Sitting bottom left
4. Budha in Front
5. Pan Resting
6. Marijuana Growing in the Crevice
7. Angel throwing down blotter hits depicting golden keys (or musical notes?)
8. Nativity in the Middle with Virgin Mary adoring New Born Child.
9. Nativity Goat with inverted pentagram looming over the baby Jesus.

I'm not sure what I intended by the subjects that I added to the nativity. I can only assume that they depict various other religions. Perhaps it represents the chaotic mismatch of religious beliefs. Maybe the demonic goat is a threat looming over the blissful child... you tell me what you think.

Robert Anton Wilson On The Joy Of Art

Robert Anton Wilson: About Timothy Leary

I met Timothy Leary back in 1992 at the Atlanta Hilton Towers. The first day, he struck me as extremely intelligent. He also had an aura about him where people who would normally hate him couldn't help but like him. In person, he didn't seem psycho as he is often portrayed on TV. On the second day, he was obviously fucked up... still getting high even in his 70's. Given his life challenges, his spirit was never broken. Good for you Tim. Good for you. May he rest in peace.

From the sketchbook... Mac Attack!

From the sketchbook... Fractals of Consciousness

Back in my acid dayz, I was stuck on a reality model based on what I called "Fractals of Consciousness". In this model, everything existed as part of a large super complex fractal pattern. It made a great deal of sense to me back then. Now, the idea seems so abstract that I barely comprehend my own writings on the subject. Looking back, I think what I was trying to articulate was the way the brain works (encoding signals and making connections). I drew the picture above. In some way, this depicts an explorer amongst a small energy sub-set of these fractals of concussions. I know it sounds crazy. But, sometimes, I think that "insanity" isn't necessarily wrong simply for being based on a different reality model. After all, the map (brain) is not necessarily the territory.

Dream - The Stars Said You'd be a Dreamer

My co-workers and I had missed the last train from Paris to Rueil Malmaison so we took a taxi. Upon arrival at our hotel, I saw my mother. She invited me into a back room, just off the lobby. This room resembled my mother's sun room at her own home. In the room was a small glass topped table with 3 chairs. I sat down in the empty chair across from a man and a woman who were in their mid 50's. The man had dark black hair and the woman had reddish brown hair.

My mother said to me, "D___, I'd like you to meet my sister." I was a bit confused and then realized that she meant that they were very close friends.

The lady said to me, "I'll be that you don't remember us." I recognized them as Lauren and Kay, friends of my parents when I was very young. I don't think I'd seen either of them since I was five years old. I said, "you are Lauren and Kay... Kate."

She corrected me, "Kate". Then she said, "Your mother sent me an e-mail the other day with a link to your son's blog. I noticed that the name in your e-mail address was neuronaut. This is why I wanted to meet you. I always knew you would be a dreamer. It was written in the stars when you were born. You see..." She then proceeded to explain the position of various stars and consolations at the time I was born. I don't really buy astrology and didn't really listen to what she was saying.

I interrupted her, "excuse me for not following all of this. I've had a long crazy trip today and am a little bit spacey."

She said, "I understand completely."

I asked, "how are your two children? As I recall you have a girl my age and a boy a little younger."

She corrected, "we have three children. Here is the newest addition to the family." And, she pointed at a small puppy in baby clothes being cuddled by Lauren next to her.


Comments: I am kicking myself for not picking up better on the queues. Almost the entire dream was a discussion about dreaming yet I never realized that I was asleep! If I had only realized that I was in a dream state, this could have become an intense lucid experience where I could have asked Lauren and Kay some serious questions about the dreaming mind!!!!

The Last Taboo

The last taboo is religion... I wanted to share this video that I happened upon.

From the sketchbook... Cosmic Egg

Zeit Und Kunst

http://www.wasistzeit.de/zeitundkunst/a5.htm

Interconnectedness

This morning, in Paris, I was sitting in a hotel lobby reading a book. The book is "Mr. Vertigo" by Paul Auster. In it, he was talking about the Buffalo Bill Show (late 19th century to early 20th century). He also was talking about a coincidental link between the plot of the main story coinciding with the airplane "Spirit of St. Louis" that crossed the Atlantic in a single flight that took 32 hours. Soon after, I found myself in a natural history museum where they had a display with old pictures of the Buffalo Bill Show. Then, later, on the subway, I saw a billboard containing a picture of the airplane "Spirit of St. Louis." What’s the chance of these seemingly random encounters? Don't you just love synchronicities?

Recognize this famous landmark?

I'm traveling again... Do you recognize this famous landmark?

From the sketchbook...

Here is an interesting character... It's not an original layout... I was simply bored and happened to have a penguin button laying in front of me from which I copied...

From the sketchbook...

3 Steps to Interpreting Dreams as Joseph did...

I am currently re-reading "The Earth will Shake" by Robert Anton Wilson. The following excerpt is probably the best and most simple instructions on how to learn to interpret dreams that I have seen...

From Maria Maldonado's Journal:

Mother Ursula told me that anyone could learn to interpret dreams, just as Joseph did in the Bible. She says the whole art is in three steps: first, one must learn to remember one's dreams; second, by meditating on them, one can eventually understand them; and third, with this knowledge mastered, one can begin to interpret the dreams of others.

To remember one's dreams, Mother Ursula says, it is necessary to keep foolscap by one's bed and write down all that one remembers of the night's dreams the very first thing upon waking. She says that if one does this every day, one remembers more every day.

Mind Puzzle Chain Mails

I recently received an interesting forwarded e-mail with various mind games.... Some samples follow below. I think that these successfully demonstrate how our minds can trick us. How many details and alternate views do we gloss over in our daily lives?

Count every " F " in the following text:

FINI SHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...

HOW MANY ?

THERE ARE 6 -- no joke.

READ IT AGAIN ! The reasoning behind is further down. The brain cannot process "OF".

The following are a few pictures that were included. Each picture contains two words. I'm uncertain of the source of these pictures nor copyright status...

Dream Recall

I have about 6 years of dreams written in a journal dating from 1992 to 1998. During the time that I was recording these, my recall was so keen that I typically remembered 4 dreams per night. When I read these journal entries today, they trigger memories of the dreams that are much more crisp and clear than memories from daytime events during the same time period. During these years, I learned to lucid dream. I'll write more about lucid dreaming in a future post.

In 1998, I began working a job that required me to wake early by alarm clock. The shock of an alarm clock made recall a bit more difficult than if I had awaken naturally. At this time, I also found myself living in a new town where I knew almost nobody. As a result, a mild depression set in. I was also struggling with many personal issues common to early adulthood.

At that time, I felt a need to let my subconscious mind work on its own without my meddling. For this reason, I really laid off of the soul searching for a while. I let myself get lost in life and stopped most dream work. Somehow, I felt that this was the right thing to do. I understand that this is dead opposite of what most mystics and shamans would have recommended. But, it seemed right at the time.

In the meantime, I did record dreams but usually only if they seemed extremely unusual and important. Now, in 2008, I am taking a renewed interest in how my mind works as well as the general relationship between mind and physical world.

My dream recall is no longer all that great. I remember now perhaps 4 dreams a week rather than 4 dreams each night. I've started meditating again upon occasion, but not on a regular schedule. Also, I am about to embark on a winter of working in Europe. Being in a different culture is a fantastic was to put your own version of reality into perspective. As such, I think that this coming year may be very interesting from a neuronautic standpoint.

From the Canvas... Depression

Self Portrait of Inner Self from the late 1990's.

From the sketchbook...

These little guys used to show up in my dreams quite often (mid 1990's). I suppose they are similar to gargoyles. They weren't scary but were mischievious. And, if you caught one, they were kind'a like puddy and hard to hold onto. One of my many teachers at the time had warned me to never touch them... not sure why...