Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Dream - Native Inlaws Living in Trees

I was in a peculiar, Tolkeinesk dwelling. The home was situated up in the tree tops. It was consisted of a small living room with couch, tiny kitchen, and a bedroom. On the couch were two black ladies. The oldest informed me (in a British accent) that they were my sons ancestors from long ago. She asked if it surprised me to find that I had black in-laws. I responded, "no." and inquired as to where we were. They explained that they were "forest people" living in the tree tops. I asked what year it was and they replied "1391".

Comments: I was awaken by my son crying and didn't get to ask any further questions. I find this dream perplexing as I don't understand why the racial connotations. I have never considered myself the least bit racists. I find other cultures intriguing not threatening. The houses being in the tree tops makes me suspect that there were dangerous forest animals on the ground. Why else build your home high in the air?

Dream - Sky Begins Kindergarten

Skylar, my toddler son, was older now, in this dream. He was about to ride the school bus to his first day of Kindergarten.

Cloud Heading

What I like about this drawing is that the smaller shapes seem to go deep into the background yet they are in front of the larger shapes.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Crazy Daisies

I have always been a big fan of Crazy Daisy Ed of the 1990's Liquid Television. Episode #1 is a classic. Ed is sitting in a field, bored as hell. So, he decides to uproot himself and explore town. In some weird way, this resonated with me. His uprooting himself I felt corresponded with the altering of my conciousness which allowed me to uproot myself from the mundane limitations of consensus reality.

Now, over a decade later, my wife is all about daisies. It is her favorite flower. Seing daisies always makes her happy. Thus, I created this picture for her computer desktop. It shows our family (including the dog) as happy little daisies....

Friday, December 14, 2007

Altered Perception at McDonalds following Meditation

Long ago, I regularly meditated. Techniques and objectives varied according to mood and interests. Visual meditation and vision quests are my favorite. The other night, in my hotel room, I took a short journey to contact my primary animal guide. I've not visited him in years. I'm not sure why I had strayed so far away for so long.

Instead of taking my normal route back to awakening, I decided to try something different. I kept my mind in the dream state but allowed my body to awaken. The result was a very trippy, mild psychedelic state which I was able to hold onto for about an hour. The state wasn't so intense that the walls were breathing but everything did seem a bit exaggerated. For example, colors were intense and hills seemed steeper than normal. It felt very much like the early stages of an LSD high when you notice more and more details and your peripheral vision is crystal clear. Everything in this state is slightly exaggerated. This is both in physical appearance and situation. In some ways, in this state, everything seems to be part of a large, complex cosmic joke. I strolled outside and walked down the street. The stones and broken glass on the sidewalk were unusually sparkly.

A Christmas tree within a near-by McDonalds was calling me. The blinking Christmas lights were unusually interesting and the tinsel was excessively flashy. The tree sparkled and seemed to glow. I decided that while I was there, I should buy something. At the register, I awkwardly fumbled around with my money, noticing the eye over the pyramid on our one-dollar bill. I contemplated it's significance. What is meant by "Annuit coeptis, nevos ordo seclorum"? Is it spiritual or political? It's interesting how I never really think about the money that I use everyday. Anyways, I paid for a chocolate dipped ice cream cone.

The people working there all seemed rather odd. They were totally focused on their day-to-day grind. They were "in the now". Such a mundane thing, shopping at McDonalds was about to get more and more absurd. The lady behind the counter made an ice cream cone but could not find the chocolate. She threw out the cone and everyone worked together, trying to help her figure out where the chocolate had gone. I was quietly watching, not saying a word. They eventually found the chocolate. Someone had put it in the refrigerator so it was now rock hard. After a rather serious discussion, the employees decided to microwave it. But the big stainless steal container was too tall to fit in the microwave. I was secretly wishing it had fit as I wanted to see the sparks fly when they tried to microwave a metal container. The manager suggested placing it under heat lamps to melt. So, they removed the french fries from the warmer and set the metal tub of cold hard chocolate under the lights. They all seemed to think that this would work. I wondered how long they'd let it set there while I waited at the counter. I seriously didn't think it would melt enough to dip anything into it. But, to my surprise, a few minutes later, they pulled it out and were able to stir it. She returned to the ice cream maker. The ice cream now was too runny to stand on the cone. She tried 4 times to make an ice cream cone and each time the ice cream flopped over, hitting the floor. At this point, she returned to the counter and informed me that the ice cream maker wasn't working. She told me that she was getting me a shake instead. I informed her that I didn't want a shake. She looked at me in a confused manner like she didn't know what to do. I told her "don't worry about it, just give me my money back."

On my way out, I was thinking that a shake might not have been so bad after all. But, I didn't want to go back and order it now. So, I went next door to Wendy's to order a frosty. They had just locked the doors to the main restaurant. There was a big sign that read "drive through open until 2:00 AM. So, I walked around to the order station outside and said "hello" a few times. No one answered so I proceeded to walk up to the take-out window. I knocked on the window and a girl gave me a confused look then tried to ignore me. So, I slid the window open and told here that I'd like to place an order.

She said, "sir, I can not help you," as she slid the window shut. I knocked again. She cracked the window and I inquired why not. She said, "sir, you'll have to get in your car and drive up to the window.". I explained to her that I was staying in the hotel next door and didn't have a car. She repeated, "sir, I can not help you unless you are in a car."

I then had an idea. I told her that I'd walk up back to the order station and she could take my order there and then I'd walk back to the pickup window. She didn't like this idea. So, I asked to speak with the manager.

The manager came to the window and said, "we can't take walk-ups.".

I argued that this policy was crazy. You are standing here talking to me. There are four employees in sight none of whom have any work to do. I want to give you money but you are turning me away.

He replied that the drive through was on camera and they could get in trouble if they served somebody who wasn't in a car. And, once again, I was told "just get in your car and drive up." Obviously this man was dense as I had just explained that I didn't have a car. So, to drive the point home, I explained further that their restaurant was surrounded by four hotels and was just next to the airport. Many of people staying in these hotels were just like me, without a car. I asked how he could turn away the business.

He replied again that their policy was "no walk-ups." And, this time, he apologized for not being able to serve me. I asked if he'd serve me on a bicycle. I think I stumped him as he didn't seem to know the answer. He replied with a "uhhh." I could see the that finally something clicked and he finally understood the situation. And he turned to the girl that I was originally "helping" me. And, he told her to take my order. Ahhh! Triumph at last.

And, this time, the ice cream machine wasn't even broken.

Now, I ask you. Is everyone else's confusion at all related to my dreamy mixed up state of mind or was it all simply a coincidence?

Friday, November 30, 2007

Thursday, November 15, 2007

As a Man Thinketh

Mind is the Master power that moulds and makes,
And Man is Mind, and evermore he takes
The tool of Thought, and, shaping what he wills,
Brings forth a thousand joys, a thousand ills:—
He thinks in secret, and it comes to pass:
Environment is but his looking-glass.

-from As a Man Thinketh
by James Allen

Monday, November 5, 2007

Dream - Curse on a Dead Mother

This dream was recorded several days after...

My mother had died. She was to be buried in a family section of an old graveyard. I was present when the undertaker was burying the body. The casket shifted. He then opened the lid, revealing my dead mother. He muttered a curse. I was taken aback and asked why he'd done such a thing. He said that it was harmless and kept the bodies from moving as he was burying them. He said that he did this for everyone that he buried and that it was nothing to worry about.

Later that evening, at my grandparent's house, my mother's ghost came to me. She was amazed that she could talk to me. And, she didn't seem to understand why she was simply hanging around with no "heaven" or after-life besides the one she'd died from. I could see her plainly. After a few days of her hanging around, we discussed in great length whether or not it was natural for her to still be hanging around. She told me that my dead cousin Stacy was in the same predicament. She was buried nearby, in the same cemetery. It dawned on me about the curse that the undertaker had put on her body. We came to the conclusion that this curse somehow prevented the body from resting in peace and therefore prevented her soul from passing onward.

Having determined that the curse was the cause, we discussed possible ways to reverse it. We discussed having a preacher bless her grave but didn't know if it would be enough. Then, we decided that she should be buried with blessed/holy earth. I convinced the caretaker to help by digging her up so that I could put some holy soil on top of her. After digging her up, he opened the coffin. I saw my partially decomposed mother. I threw a shovel full of dirt into the open coffin on top of her.

At the point I awoke, not being able to determine whether the curse was lifted and her soul freed.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Left vs. Right Brain

This is from the Daily Telegraph. . .

Supposedly, if she appears to be spinning clockwise, you are right brained. If she is spinning counter-clockwise, you are left brained...

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Dream - RAW & Leary

This dream is vague with little detail in recall...

I was at my home and was visited by Robert Anton Wilson, author of various books about conspiracy, psychology, and philosophy. He was walking (in the last several years of his life, he was confined to a wheel chair). We discussed having met at Dragon Con several years ago. I told him how he'd autographed several of my books and how I owned all but one that he'd written. He then asked to see my collection and began signing my remaining books. He was about to leave and I walked him out to his old rusty car. Just then, Timothy Leary popped in to say "hi" to his old friend Bob and myself (I had also met Timothy Leary at Dragon Con back in 1992). As we were talking, I said to Bob, "Hey, wait a minute... Timothy Leary is dead." Bob smiled knowingly at me and said, "So am I, remember?" (Bob had died earlier this year).

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Coincidence, Synchronicity, or Something More?

A moment ago, I was sitting in my home office working. Suddenly, out of no where, I thought that I should give my roofer a call. He was supposed to have come over a week ago to do a hail damage estimate for my insurance company. I picked up the phone and dialed his number. Just as I hit the call button, my doorbell rang. So, I hit the hang-up button and ran downstairs to answer the door. Standing there was my roofer, fiddling with his cell phone, trying to figure out who had called him. I ask you, is this:
  1. Coincidence?
  2. Synchronicity?
  3. Psychic Phenomena?

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Dream - Lesbian Night Club

I was at a restaurant that had a very eclectic decor. Decorations consisted of interesting nick-nacks such as an antique fuzzy red hat. There were also some interesting candle-like pewter nick-nacks on a shelf. As closing time approached, the restaurant began to fill up with many women. Several were from my work. Apparently, after dark, the restaurant became a lesbian fetish nightclub. They asked me to leave. I explained my background and they said I could stay "for now". Soon, I saw a couple of guys there that I knew. One was a Canadian HR person from my work. We talked a while. The club started hopping. No music but quite a bit of interesting conversation and characters to observe.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Dream - City Under Attack

I was staying in a hotel in Atlanta. The city was being attacked from the air. Bombs were being dropped all over the city. There was on the news a claim that a middle east terrorist group was going to set off a dirty bomb in the city. My friends and I doubted the claim as we didn't understand why this would follow an air strike. We thought that if they had such a weapon they'd have set it off first. Regardless, everyone was trying to flee the city. I went outside the hotel to get my car. My intention was to drive to the other side of the building so that we could load our belongings. I made a wrong turn and ended up on Hwy 85. I went an exit down and turned around. Upon returning to the hotel, we loaded the car. I hung around a little while talking to other hotel guests about what was happening.

Next day (real life): Watched a TV show about the recent war between Israel and Lebenon. This show followed a food TV show host who was stranded there in a hotel when Israel began bombing. It was very similar to my dream. Except, of course, that it was Beruit not Atlanta.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Conversations with my 97 Year Old Grandmother

My wife and I had planned a vacation to Virginia Beach with my parents. The whole time we were making plans, I had a nagging question in the back of my mind that something might happen to my 97 year old grandmother. She has been healthy but is getting rather old. While packing, I called my parents. As I spoke with my mother, a voice in my head said, "she fell and broke her hip". My mother, an instant later, told me that my grandmother had fallen out of bed and broke her pelvis. They weren't sure if they'd be able to come with us to the beach. I suggested that instead of Virginia that we all go to Kansas to check up on her. So, we took two cars and drove 12 hours to Wichita.

The doctors say that her pelvis will probably never heal. Soon, my grandmother was out of the hospital and in rehab. The first day that she was there, I went into her room alone. She was asleep when I got there, so I sat quietly near-by waiting for her to wake up. While she was sleeping, I was examining her aura. It was a very strong green color all over. This suggests that her body is working hard to heal itself which is a very positive sign.

My grandmother was talking in her sleep. She kept saying the name "Betty" over and over. When she woke up, I asked her who Betty was and explained that she was saying the name in her sleep. She said that she didn't know any Betty. Then, she told me that she had dreamt that she died. She said she was at the funeral and saw everyone crowded around her grave.

She then said, "but it was only a dream which meant that it hasn't happened yet." She put an emphasis on the word "yet". Then she looked me in the eyes and said, "I often have precognitive dreams. What I dream sometimes comes true."

I replied, "I also have precognitive dreams sometimes." She looked surprised by my response. I added, "Perhaps I got that from you."

She laughed and said, "It sure would be nice if I had passed along something so useful."

Then, my father came in and the conversation ended. I will have to discuss this topic with my Dad some day to see if he also has dreams that come true. During the car ride home, I was thinking of all the other things I should have asked her. I wonder if she sees auras or has any other "gifts".

Friday, July 13, 2007

Clairvoyance and Auras

I had a reality shattering experience about 15 years ago. The result was that I became open to various sidhis. One of these was the ability to see auras. Around 10 years ago, I felt a need to shut it all off, so to speak. Since then, I see auras occasionally but not all of the time and never as strongly as before. Regardless, I wanted to share this link with anyone who might be interested or is wanting to understand what they are seeing.... The definitions of the colors are very similar to my own interpretations. The differences are very subtle. Foe example, I see red as more or less the same as "will power" or "determination" as opposed to "force" and "struggle". Yellow, I see as emotions in general rather than simply "happiness" and "well being". I have seen folks with yellow auras who are very upset. Yellow and red combined is a powerful combination, not always good. Their interpretation of blue is fitting and perhaps more accurate than my previous understanding. I had always seen deep blue as simply intelligent thought which would be in agreement with this article but not as precise. I found it interesting that the article also covers black auras. I've not seen this mentioned anywhere before. I have only seen this once and it was a minister at my grandmother's Methodist church. This article makes it sound as if black auras would mean that the person was on his death bed. But in this case, he seemed physically okay. I'm still not certain of why this person had a black aura.

The reason for this post is that I have been finding myself thinking about auras recently. I'm contemplating whether or not to try to re-awaken this sidhi. The concern is that awakening this one might entail awakening the others. Now that I am a bit older and wiser, I wonder if I could make better use of them than I did the first time....

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Dream - Laid off at work

Normally, I work from home, but I have a local office that I occasionally go into. My boss & his boss live in other cities. Local HR called me into the office to let me know that I was being "downsized". They told me that the following Friday would be my last day. That Friday, I went into the office to clear out my things and saw my boss's boss in the building. He said "hi" as he passed me in the hall, as if nothing was wrong. I walked up to him and said, "you do realize that today is my last day, don't you?". To which he replied, "Oh, where is your new job?". I was shocked by his thinking that I had quit. I said, "I don't know. I was terminated. It was not my decision." Boy was he pissed. Apparently HR had done this without notifying him. Later that day, I got called into a meeting with HR. They explained that they'd been told my systems would be outsourced so they didn't think they'd need me. But, these were systems that I'd created before I got my current job. It was all a mix up. HR always seems to have a way to screw up everything. I got to keep my job. But I remained very upset with the company as a whole.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Dream - Wildcat in the Suburbs


In my waking life, there is construction going on in the park across the street from my house. They are clearing out the underbrush and smaller trees within our 100 acre wood. The intent is to make it more park like and a little less wild. Previously, a nature trail wound through the unmaintained woods. I always like it because it felt like you were in the middle of a forest even though it was in the middle of the city. The other day, I walked through where they've been cutting down the trees and ripping out the brush. I could sense the pain of the foliage and wondered about the fate of the animals who used to call it home (mostly possums, squirrels, and rabbits). To my knowledge, there are no wild cats left in Kentucky.

The Dream:

It was nighttime. I left my house to walk across the street in order to view the progress on the new playground being built in the park. A large wildcat (possibly a cougar), the size of my Labrador retriever, snarled. I looked up. He was standing only about 20 feet from me. As I began to back away, it approached. I realized that as I stepped back, it gained confidence, sensing that I was vulnerable. So, I stepped toward it and yelled, "get away!". It jumped back then started slinking forward again. I continued telling it to leave but to no avail. I then began stepping backward toward my house. I made it across the street, but it kept following. A small girl, 3 houses down came off her porch to ask me what was wrong. I yelled at her to go inside and call 911 and ask for animal control. I inched toward my own front yard. The cat lunched at me. I somehow managed to be missed by his claws and grabbed it around the neck. I cradled it with my body to keep its arms and legs immobile. I didn't think I had any option but to strangle it to death. After the cat lost consciousness, I felt sorry for it. I could only assume that the woods in the park used to be its home. It had probably been living off of rabbits while avoiding people. But now, without a home, it was displaced in the suburbs.


Comments will be appreciated. I think it may simply represent the park fighting back and nothing more. The only thing is why did I have to defend myself when I wasn't the one responsible for destroying the natural elements of the park?

Friday, May 4, 2007

Dream - Co-Worker Dies in Accident

Brad, a co-worker is the business process owner for purchasing on my project. For whatever reason, we were supposed to assist a plant with their physical inventory. The day before inventory, Brad was on a mechanical lift, hanging a PR banner in the plant. The lift tipped over and pinned him. Workers covered his broken body with a cloth and called 911 for assistance.

Dream - Co-Worker Incriminates Self

For work, my team lives in a hotel 4 days a week. Each weekend, we go home to various parts of the world. Angela, who is quite outspoken and over-stressed, declared, "I'm a pot head. I can't wait to get home and smoke some pot." Everyone's jaw dropped. No one really thought any less of her for it but nobody knew how to react as being on drugs could be reason enough to get someone fired.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Acid Clown Mobile

I was at a night club in Germany. At first, it seemed like an ordinary dance club. But the room upstairs had a fetish orientation. There was an odd machine in the front that had a metal grid mesh out of which they began pumping excrement. The folks in the club, while dancing to the techno beat, began grabbing handfulls of the dung and started smudging it all over themselves in a sensual manner. I saw this and thought, "Damn, this is too frick'n weird for me." And, I quickly left the entire night club. Now, I was walking on the sidewalk along a dark urban street, apparently heading back to my room. A car was approaching from behind. I turned to look at it. It was a white and red 1950's model stationwagon with fins in the back. It had soap bubbles floating out of it's dual tail pipes. And, the car was packed full of clowns. The clowns wore big, brightly colored wigs and brightly colored costumes. One was hanging out the window. As the car passed by, the clown hanging out pointed a super-soaker watergun at me and pulled the trigger. I heard a "honk-honk" as my face was splattered with water. The clown car turned the next corner and was out of sight. I thought it quite odd that clowns would do a drive-by shooting with a water gun. It was a good laugh. I then continued walking. The farther I walked, the more trippy everything looked. I saw a guy setting at a bus stop. I walked up to him and told him what had happened with the clowns. His face lit up and he told me that I was a victim of urban terrorism. He explained that the clowns had recently been spotted across town spraying innocent by-standards with liquid LSD. At that point, I looked at a wall. The nails in the wall were alligned exceptionally straight, perfectly aligned. Details in my vision expanded to where everything took on a surreal ultra-detailed look. The walls started breathing. I'll be damned, I just realized that it was true. I was tripping balls.

This dream is not likely to be prophetic. I think the excrament was a
reflection of conditions of Iraqi prisoners that I had seen on an HBO
documentary just prior to falling asleep. I am uncertain of why the
terrorism was in the form of clowns with LSD rather than militants with
explossives. Any comments?

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Bathtub Graffiti

This is not a dream of mine. It's a Youtube video clip from some guy that I happened upon in random. But, it illustrates something very important about the human mind and our ability to see patterns where there shouldn't be any.

Sunday, February 4, 2007

House Collapse & Shaman Kidnapper

The House (Vague)

My wife's dad had made his own house. In this dream, a loose screw came up out of the floor. When her dad went to screw it back in, there was a loud pop and half the house dropped by about 4 feet. I went to the attic with him to try to find what had caused the collapse. There were several two-by-fours busted.

Shaman Christy Kidnaps & Murders (Vague)

Christy, the shaman, had a young girl living with her. Something seemed odd about the arrangement. I learned that she'd kidnapped the girl. Her and 2 siblings had turned up missing. The children, prior to turning up missing, had lived across a field / wooded area from Christy. I went to the girl's real family's house. There, I discovered clues that led me to find at least one of the siblings bodies in the woods behind the house. The entire dream took place at night time and was very dark.

Friday, February 2, 2007

Art School in Europe

I was living in Europe, taking art classes. Everyone in the class was creating fantastic works of art. I was creating a very well-done drawing of everyone in the classroom working. Some guy possibly the instructor, needed my assistance. He was stuck in this country because he'd left his ID in his apartment in an adjacent country. Without his ID, he could not cross back over to his apartment. I volunteered to go get his paperwork. I rode my bicycle, an old classic blue Schwinn with a basket on the front. I got side tracked in the adjacent country and returned without his ID. He was unhappy with me for forgetting his paperwork.

Background: About a week ago, I took a local figure photography class. My favorite pictures are the ones I took of a crowd of students photographing the nude model. I have not traveled abroad other than Canada for several years.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Tree Rooted in Egg - Dec 1, 1999

This dream took place December first 1999, about the same time as I was IM'ing and e-mailing Brandi online. Brandi and I met in person one week later. We were married in the summer of 2002. We had some miscarriages and finally a child in 2006. While perhaps a bit abstract, I don't think any of you will have trouble interpreting this dream....

Setting: Womb inside of woman
Props: Tree roots, human egg, spermatozoas
Characters: N/A

A tree's roots were beginning to penetrate a human egg. At the same time, sperm were swimming around outside trying to enter the same egg.

My History of Dreaming

Recently, my dream recall has been rather poor. I feel that the primary reason for this is that I wake up to an alarm at 5:30 AM each weekday morning and to my 9 month old son around 7:00 AM on weekends. The shock awakenings seem to restrict access to the dreams. When I am allowed to awaken naturally, I tend to remember multiple dreams.

I remember my first prophetic dream which took place sometime before age 7. My dog, Knishika, had cut her paw. There was blood on the back pattio. My father kept putting a band-aid on it and it kept coming off. The next morning, the exact events happened. This was very tramatic for a young child as I loved the dog very much and was deaply concerned.

Another prophet dream from my youth was at age 11. My family was about to move to Dallas, Texas. It was the last night sleeping in my old bedroom in Wichita, Kansas. That night, I prayed to God, asking who my new friends would be. And, I was answered with a dream. I was on a school bus and other kids were introducing themselve. Their names were Bri, Pat, and Shawn. One was a dark-headed guy with a big belt buckle. The second was thin and blond. The third was kind of big and dark skinned. A couple of days later, I was in Texas about to start my first day of school. I got on the school bus. I looked around and was dumbfounded by what I saw. The only thought running through my head was, "these are the people from my dream." As I gathered my thoughts, they began to introduce themselves to me. I was going over their names in my head just prior to their introduction. What's more is that these three kids were my best friends for the next five years. I rarely did anything without one of these three by my side. There was no doubt in my mind but that I had been given a glimpse into the future via my dream.

For 4 years, from 1992 to 1996, I actively journaled my dreams. During this period, I recalled on average four dreams a night, many of which were lucid (more on lucidity another day). During this time, I was very much into neuronautics. I was in multiple meditation clubs and dabbled in mind altering entheogens. All of this brought me more in tune with my subconscious mind. Also during this time, I tended to interpret daily life in terms of my dreaming life rather than visa-versa.

From 1996 to present, I have only written down occasional dreams that seemed significant. My recall has become poorer. This journal is in part an attempt to rekindle my relationship with dreams.