From the sketchbook...

Here is an interesting character... It's not an original layout... I was simply bored and happened to have a penguin button laying in front of me from which I copied...

From the sketchbook...

3 Steps to Interpreting Dreams as Joseph did...

I am currently re-reading "The Earth will Shake" by Robert Anton Wilson. The following excerpt is probably the best and most simple instructions on how to learn to interpret dreams that I have seen...

From Maria Maldonado's Journal:

Mother Ursula told me that anyone could learn to interpret dreams, just as Joseph did in the Bible. She says the whole art is in three steps: first, one must learn to remember one's dreams; second, by meditating on them, one can eventually understand them; and third, with this knowledge mastered, one can begin to interpret the dreams of others.

To remember one's dreams, Mother Ursula says, it is necessary to keep foolscap by one's bed and write down all that one remembers of the night's dreams the very first thing upon waking. She says that if one does this every day, one remembers more every day.

Mind Puzzle Chain Mails

I recently received an interesting forwarded e-mail with various mind games.... Some samples follow below. I think that these successfully demonstrate how our minds can trick us. How many details and alternate views do we gloss over in our daily lives?

Count every " F " in the following text:

FINI SHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...

HOW MANY ?

THERE ARE 6 -- no joke.

READ IT AGAIN ! The reasoning behind is further down. The brain cannot process "OF".

The following are a few pictures that were included. Each picture contains two words. I'm uncertain of the source of these pictures nor copyright status...

Dream Recall

I have about 6 years of dreams written in a journal dating from 1992 to 1998. During the time that I was recording these, my recall was so keen that I typically remembered 4 dreams per night. When I read these journal entries today, they trigger memories of the dreams that are much more crisp and clear than memories from daytime events during the same time period. During these years, I learned to lucid dream. I'll write more about lucid dreaming in a future post.

In 1998, I began working a job that required me to wake early by alarm clock. The shock of an alarm clock made recall a bit more difficult than if I had awaken naturally. At this time, I also found myself living in a new town where I knew almost nobody. As a result, a mild depression set in. I was also struggling with many personal issues common to early adulthood.

At that time, I felt a need to let my subconscious mind work on its own without my meddling. For this reason, I really laid off of the soul searching for a while. I let myself get lost in life and stopped most dream work. Somehow, I felt that this was the right thing to do. I understand that this is dead opposite of what most mystics and shamans would have recommended. But, it seemed right at the time.

In the meantime, I did record dreams but usually only if they seemed extremely unusual and important. Now, in 2008, I am taking a renewed interest in how my mind works as well as the general relationship between mind and physical world.

My dream recall is no longer all that great. I remember now perhaps 4 dreams a week rather than 4 dreams each night. I've started meditating again upon occasion, but not on a regular schedule. Also, I am about to embark on a winter of working in Europe. Being in a different culture is a fantastic was to put your own version of reality into perspective. As such, I think that this coming year may be very interesting from a neuronautic standpoint.

From the Canvas... Depression

Self Portrait of Inner Self from the late 1990's.

From the sketchbook...

These little guys used to show up in my dreams quite often (mid 1990's). I suppose they are similar to gargoyles. They weren't scary but were mischievious. And, if you caught one, they were kind'a like puddy and hard to hold onto. One of my many teachers at the time had warned me to never touch them... not sure why...

Dream - Native Inlaws Living in Trees

I was in a peculiar, Tolkeinesk dwelling. The home was situated up in the tree tops. It was consisted of a small living room with couch, tiny kitchen, and a bedroom. On the couch were two black ladies. The oldest informed me (in a British accent) that they were my sons ancestors from long ago. She asked if it surprised me to find that I had black in-laws. I responded, "no." and inquired as to where we were. They explained that they were "forest people" living in the tree tops. I asked what year it was and they replied "1391".

Comments: I was awaken by my son crying and didn't get to ask any further questions. I find this dream perplexing as I don't understand why the racial connotations. I have never considered myself the least bit racists. I find other cultures intriguing not threatening. The houses being in the tree tops makes me suspect that there were dangerous forest animals on the ground. Why else build your home high in the air?

Dream - Sky Begins Kindergarten

Skylar, my toddler son, was older now, in this dream. He was about to ride the school bus to his first day of Kindergarten.

Cloud Heading

What I like about this drawing is that the smaller shapes seem to go deep into the background yet they are in front of the larger shapes.

Crazy Daisies

I have always been a big fan of Crazy Daisy Ed of the 1990's Liquid Television. Episode #1 is a classic. Ed is sitting in a field, bored as hell. So, he decides to uproot himself and explore town. In some weird way, this resonated with me. His uprooting himself I felt corresponded with the altering of my conciousness which allowed me to uproot myself from the mundane limitations of consensus reality.





Now, over a decade later, my wife is all about daisies. It is her favorite flower. Seing daisies always makes her happy. Thus, I created this picture for her computer desktop. It shows our family (including the dog) as happy little daisies....

Altered Perception at McDonalds following Meditation

Long ago, I regularly meditated. Techniques and objectives varied according to mood and interests. Visual meditation and vision quests are my favorite. The other night, in my hotel room, I took a short journey to contact my primary animal guide. I've not visited him in years. I'm not sure why I had strayed so far away for so long.

Instead of taking my normal route back to awakening, I decided to try something different. I kept my mind in the dream state but allowed my body to awaken. The result was a very trippy, mild psychedelic state which I was able to hold onto for about an hour. The state wasn't so intense that the walls were breathing but everything did seem a bit exaggerated. For example, colors were intense and hills seemed steeper than normal. It felt very much like the early stages of an LSD high when you notice more and more details and your peripheral vision is crystal clear. Everything in this state is slightly exaggerated. This is both in physical appearance and situation. In some ways, in this state, everything seems to be part of a large, complex cosmic joke. I strolled outside and walked down the street. The stones and broken glass on the sidewalk were unusually sparkly.

A Christmas tree within a near-by McDonalds was calling me. The blinking Christmas lights were unusually interesting and the tinsel was excessively flashy. The tree sparkled and seemed to glow. I decided that while I was there, I should buy something. At the register, I awkwardly fumbled around with my money, noticing the eye over the pyramid on our one-dollar bill. I contemplated it's significance. What is meant by "Annuit coeptis, nevos ordo seclorum"? Is it spiritual or political? It's interesting how I never really think about the money that I use everyday. Anyways, I paid for a chocolate dipped ice cream cone.

The people working there all seemed rather odd. They were totally focused on their day-to-day grind. They were "in the now". Such a mundane thing, shopping at McDonalds was about to get more and more absurd. The lady behind the counter made an ice cream cone but could not find the chocolate. She threw out the cone and everyone worked together, trying to help her figure out where the chocolate had gone. I was quietly watching, not saying a word. They eventually found the chocolate. Someone had put it in the refrigerator so it was now rock hard. After a rather serious discussion, the employees decided to microwave it. But the big stainless steal container was too tall to fit in the microwave. I was secretly wishing it had fit as I wanted to see the sparks fly when they tried to microwave a metal container. The manager suggested placing it under heat lamps to melt. So, they removed the french fries from the warmer and set the metal tub of cold hard chocolate under the lights. They all seemed to think that this would work. I wondered how long they'd let it set there while I waited at the counter. I seriously didn't think it would melt enough to dip anything into it. But, to my surprise, a few minutes later, they pulled it out and were able to stir it. She returned to the ice cream maker. The ice cream now was too runny to stand on the cone. She tried 4 times to make an ice cream cone and each time the ice cream flopped over, hitting the floor. At this point, she returned to the counter and informed me that the ice cream maker wasn't working. She told me that she was getting me a shake instead. I informed her that I didn't want a shake. She looked at me in a confused manner like she didn't know what to do. I told her "don't worry about it, just give me my money back."

On my way out, I was thinking that a shake might not have been so bad after all. But, I didn't want to go back and order it now. So, I went next door to Wendy's to order a frosty. They had just locked the doors to the main restaurant. There was a big sign that read "drive through open until 2:00 AM. So, I walked around to the order station outside and said "hello" a few times. No one answered so I proceeded to walk up to the take-out window. I knocked on the window and a girl gave me a confused look then tried to ignore me. So, I slid the window open and told here that I'd like to place an order.

She said, "sir, I can not help you," as she slid the window shut. I knocked again. She cracked the window and I inquired why not. She said, "sir, you'll have to get in your car and drive up to the window.". I explained to her that I was staying in the hotel next door and didn't have a car. She repeated, "sir, I can not help you unless you are in a car."

I then had an idea. I told her that I'd walk up back to the order station and she could take my order there and then I'd walk back to the pickup window. She didn't like this idea. So, I asked to speak with the manager.

The manager came to the window and said, "we can't take walk-ups.".

I argued that this policy was crazy. You are standing here talking to me. There are four employees in sight none of whom have any work to do. I want to give you money but you are turning me away.

He replied that the drive through was on camera and they could get in trouble if they served somebody who wasn't in a car. And, once again, I was told "just get in your car and drive up." Obviously this man was dense as I had just explained that I didn't have a car. So, to drive the point home, I explained further that their restaurant was surrounded by four hotels and was just next to the airport. Many of people staying in these hotels were just like me, without a car. I asked how he could turn away the business.

He replied again that their policy was "no walk-ups." And, this time, he apologized for not being able to serve me. I asked if he'd serve me on a bicycle. I think I stumped him as he didn't seem to know the answer. He replied with a "uhhh." I could see the that finally something clicked and he finally understood the situation. And he turned to the girl that I was originally "helping" me. And, he told her to take my order. Ahhh! Triumph at last.

And, this time, the ice cream machine wasn't even broken.

Now, I ask you. Is everyone else's confusion at all related to my dreamy mixed up state of mind or was it all simply a coincidence?

Figure Photography

I took a figure photography class through the local art league....

As a Man Thinketh

Mind is the Master power that moulds and makes,
And Man is Mind, and evermore he takes
The tool of Thought, and, shaping what he wills,
Brings forth a thousand joys, a thousand ills:—
He thinks in secret, and it comes to pass:
Environment is but his looking-glass.

-from As a Man Thinketh

by James Allen

Dream - Curse on a Dead Mother

This dream was recorded several days after...

My mother had died. She was to be buried in a family section of an old graveyard. I was present when the undertaker was burying the body. The casket shifted. He then opened the lid, revealing my dead mother. He muttered a curse. I was taken aback and asked why he'd done such a thing. He said that it was harmless and kept the bodies from moving as he was burying them. He said that he did this for everyone that he buried and that it was nothing to worry about.

Later that evening, at my grandparent's house, my mother's ghost came to me. She was amazed that she could talk to me. And, she didn't seem to understand why she was simply hanging around with no "heaven" or after-life besides the one she'd died from. I could see her plainly. After a few days of her hanging around, we discussed in great length whether or not it was natural for her to still be hanging around. She told me that my dead cousin Stacy was in the same predicament. She was buried nearby, in the same cemetery. It dawned on me about the curse that the undertaker had put on her body. We came to the conclusion that this curse somehow prevented the body from resting in peace and therefore prevented her soul from passing onward.

Having determined that the curse was the cause, we discussed possible ways to reverse it. We discussed having a preacher bless her grave but didn't know if it would be enough. Then, we decided that she should be buried with blessed/holy earth. I convinced the caretaker to help by digging her up so that I could put some holy soil on top of her. After digging her up, he opened the coffin. I saw my partially decomposed mother. I threw a shovel full of dirt into the open coffin on top of her.

At the point I awoke, not being able to determine whether the curse was lifted and her soul freed.

Left vs. Right Brain

This is from the Daily Telegraph. . .

Supposedly, if she appears to be spinning clockwise, you are right brained. If she is spinning counter-clockwise, you are left brained...

Dream - RAW & Leary

This dream is vague with little detail in recall...

I was at my home and was visited by Robert Anton Wilson, author of various books about conspiracy, psychology, and philosophy. He was walking (in the last several years of his life, he was confined to a wheel chair). We discussed having met at Dragon Con several years ago. I told him how he'd autographed several of my books and how I owned all but one that he'd written. He then asked to see my collection and began signing my remaining books. He was about to leave and I walked him out to his old rusty car. Just then, Timothy Leary popped in to say "hi" to his old friend Bob and myself (I had also met Timothy Leary at Dragon Con back in 1992). As we were talking, I said to Bob, "Hey, wait a minute... Timothy Leary is dead." Bob smiled knowingly at me and said, "So am I, remember?" (Bob had died earlier this year).

Coincidence, Synchronicity, or Something More?

A moment ago, I was sitting in my home office working. Suddenly, out of no where, I thought that I should give my roofer a call. He was supposed to have come over a week ago to do a hail damage estimate for my insurance company. I picked up the phone and dialed his number. Just as I hit the call button, my doorbell rang. So, I hit the hang-up button and ran downstairs to answer the door. Standing there was my roofer, fiddling with his cell phone, trying to figure out who had called him. I ask you, is this:

1. Coincidence?
2. Synchronicity?
3. Psychic Phenomena?

Dream - Lesbian Night Club

I was at a restaurant that had a very eclectic decor. Decorations consisted of interesting nick-nacks such as an antique fuzzy red hat. There were also some interesting candle-like pewter nick-nacks on a shelf. As closing time approached, the restaurant began to fill up with many women. Several were from my work. Apparently, after dark, the restaurant became a lesbian fetish nightclub. They asked me to leave. I explained my background and they said I could stay "for now". Soon, I saw a couple of guys there that I knew. One was a Canadian HR person from my work. We talked a while. The club started hopping. No music but quite a bit of interesting conversation and characters to observe.

Dream - City Under Attack

I was staying in a hotel in Atlanta. The city was being attacked from the air. Bombs were being dropped all over the city. There was on the news a claim that a middle east terrorist group was going to set off a dirty bomb in the city. My friends and I doubted the claim as we didn't understand why this would follow an air strike. We thought that if they had such a weapon they'd have set it off first. Regardless, everyone was trying to flee the city. I went outside the hotel to get my car. My intention was to drive to the other side of the building so that we could load our belongings. I made a wrong turn and ended up on Hwy 85. I went an exit down and turned around. Upon returning to the hotel, we loaded the car. I hung around a little while talking to other hotel guests about what was happening.

Next day (real life): Watched a TV show about the recent war between Israel and Lebenon. This show followed a food TV show host who was stranded there in a hotel when Israel began bombing. It was very similar to my dream. Except, of course, that it was Beruit not Atlanta.